


a one-line dm

by oqua



Series: Family [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Chatting & Messaging, Established Relationship, Family Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reality, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:32:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oqua/pseuds/oqua
Summary: Dan's probably about to be fired from his job, his dad is really freaking pissed off about it, and life just generally sort of seems to be going to shit. Thankfully Phil has a knack for making everything better. (A Twitter DM conversation between Dan and Phil in November 2009.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been intrigued by Dan's 2009 tweet about having a "biblical-scale" argument with his father, and then his Dailybooth post later that night where he said that he "got some bad news, but then talking to people, and little jokes made it better :)" and that he especially <3's Phil, who "made everything bettwe with a 1 line DM." So I decided to write this!
> 
> I had fun over-using old-school emoticons and formatting the story's layout/colors/fonts to match what Twitter DM's looked like back in 2009; I hope you enjoy! Also, Dan is a terrible speller who literally didn't learn how to spell the word "minute" until he was 20 years old; all spelling mistakes in this story are therefore intentional and were included in the name of realism. lmao. 
> 
> _tw: swearing, description of an argument between Dan and his dad, references to being yelled at_

**danisnotonfire** Dan Howell  
_just had a biblical-scale arguement with the father._  
_pah, ill find sanctuary on the internet._  
3 Nov 2009, 16:26

- 

Direct Messages:

**AmazingPhil** hey i saw your tweet are u ok?  
3 Nov 2009, 16:26

 **AmazingPhil** the one about an argument w your dad?? o_o  
3 Nov 2009, 16:28

 **danisnotonfire** yeah im fine :)  
3 Nov 2009, 16:28

 **AmazingPhil** ok good <3  
3 Nov 2009, 16:28

 **AmazingPhil** do u want to talk about it tho?  
3 Nov 2009, 16:29

 **danisnotonfire** lol nah i reckon id rather keep you ignorant as to the full extent of my idiocy >.<  
3 Nov 2009, 16:29

 **AmazingPhil** :(  
3 Nov 2009, 16:29

 **danisnotonfire** im sorry. ;_; i know its stupid but i just kinda need at least one person in my life right now who doesnt think im a total fuckup haha  
3 Nov 2009, 16:30

 **AmazingPhil** aw dan i promise i would never ever think you're a fuckup. i dont care what u did <33  
3 Nov 2009, 16:30

 **danisnotonfire** ...how about if i didnt turn up to my contracted hours at asda last week for literally no reason and now im probably about to be fired?  
3 Nov 2009, 16:33

 **danisnotonfire** please say something  
3 Nov 2009, 16:38

 **AmazingPhil** <33333 can we skype?  
3 Nov 2009, 16:38

 **danisnotonfire** erm. maybe later if thats ok? :/  
3 Nov 2009, 16:38

 **AmazingPhil** ok <3 but just dont be sad alright bear? its only a job, this stuff happens <3 i promise i dont think less of u or anything  
3 Nov 2009, 16:39

 **AmazingPhil** it might feel like the end of the world but im sure it will be fine <33 and u said 'probably'? so maybe u wont even be fired at all?  
3 Nov 2009, 16:39

 **danisnotonfire** i dont know, asda just rang my house saying ive got a meeting w my manager on thursday to discuss what a shitty employee ive been lately -_-  
3 Nov 2009, 16:40

 **danisnotonfire** but my manager already hates me bc of when i lied about going to reading festival. so im not feeling particuilarly optimistic  
3 Nov 2009, 16:40

 **AmazingPhil** well just explain your side and maybe it will go better than you expect <3  
3 Nov 2009, 16:41

 **danisnotonfire** thanks. i hope so <33  
3 Nov 2009, 16:41

 **AmazingPhil** skypee? <333  
3 Nov 2009, 16:42

 **danisnotonfire** :p actually i think im gonna take a nap now, ive kind of got a really bad headache  
3 Nov 2009, 16:42

 **AmazingPhil** oh ok :( i hope it goes away soon! take ibuprofen! and skype me when u wake up ^-^ plz  
3 Nov 2009, 16:42

 **danisnotonfire** thanks i will :]  
3 Nov 2009, 16:42

 **danisnotonfire** hey are you online  
3 Nov 2009, 17:05

 **AmazingPhil** hahaa always. did u nap  
3 Nov 2009, 17:05

 **danisnotonfire** no fml i cant sleep  
3 Nov 2009, 17:05

 **AmazingPhil** aw bear :(  
3 Nov 2009, 17:05

 **danisnotonfire** my headache wont go away  
3 Nov 2009, 17:05

 **AmazingPhil** how long have you had it? :/  
3 Nov 2009, 17:06

 **danisnotonfire** idk, i guess since after asda called? too much shouting lol  
3 Nov 2009, 17:06

 **AmazingPhil** they shouted at you? that seems kinda unprofessional? o.0  
3 Nov 2009, 17:06

 **danisnotonfire** no no they didnt even talk to me lol, just to my dad  
3 Nov 2009, 17:06

 **AmazingPhil** oh.  
3 Nov 2009, 17:06

 **AmazingPhil** so your dad shouted at you  
3 Nov 2009, 17:08

 **danisnotonfire** yh haha he was pretty fucking angry when he got off the phone x_x  
3 Nov 2009, 17:08

 **danisnotonfire** like he literally just sat me down at the dining table and yelled for like a solid hour lolol  
3 Nov 2009, 17:09

 **AmazingPhil** im sorry :( that sounds awful.  
3 Nov 2009, 17:09

 **danisnotonfire** lol its just funny bc my parents literally never give a shit about anything i do until i fuck up  
3 Nov 2009, 17:09

 **AmazingPhil** :(  
3 Nov 2009, 17:09

 **danisnotonfire** then all of a sudden it's like what's wrong with u, what happened, what are u doing, tell us everything  
3 Nov 2009, 17:09

 **danisnotonfire** my dad said if i dont care about my job i dont deserve it.. which is true  
3 Nov 2009, 17:10

 **danisnotonfire** but then he said all this other shit too like im sabatoging myself and wasting my gap year and do i realise how stupid im being ;_;  
3 Nov 2009, 17:10

 **danisnotonfire** and at the end he was just like welp dan idk what more to say, its ur life, fuck it up how u want, my sympathies to asda if they keep u tbh  
3 Nov 2009, 17:10

 **AmazingPhil** ok well your dad and asda can both go fuck themselves  
3 Nov 2009, 17:11

 **AmazingPhil** wait sorry that was kind of vulgar o.o  
3 Nov 2009, 17:11

 **danisnotonfire** lmao phil dont worry, that made me laugh for like the first time today  
3 Nov 2009, 17:11

 **danisnotonfire** maybe they could fuck each other. maybe my dad has a supermarket fetish. ok ill stop this is getting weird.xD but lmao  
3 Nov 2009, 17:11

 **AmazingPhil** haha ok im glad u werent like mortally offended  
3 Nov 2009, 17:12

 **AmazingPhil** but seriously.. that was really shitty of your dad he isnt usually like that, right??? :/  
3 Nov 2009, 17:12

 **AmazingPhil** is he? ._.  
3 Nov 2009, 17:15

 **danisnotonfire** no of course not  
3 Nov 2009, 17:15

 **AmazingPhil** well thats good at least  
3 Nov 2009, 17:15

 **AmazingPhil** aw my mum just made loads of butterfly cakes ^-^ i wish i could send u one through dm <3  
3 Nov 2009, 17:20

 **danisnotonfire** wtf is a butterfly cake?  
3 Nov 2009, 17:20

 **AmazingPhil** its a cupcake! but you cut out little pieces of cake and put them on top of the frosting so it looks like someone's bum sticking up hahaa xD  
3 Nov 2009, 17:21

 **danisnotonfire** omg lol i want to see  
3 Nov 2009, 17:21

 **AmazingPhil** come on skype!! ill show u. :3  
3 Nov 2009, 17:21

 **danisnotonfire** >.<  
3 Nov 2009, 17:22

 **AmazingPhil** plllllzzzzzzzzz <3  
3 Nov 2009, 17:22

 **danisnotonfire** i look like shit right now  
3 Nov 2009, 17:25

 **AmazingPhil** no u don't  
3 Nov 2009, 17:25

 **danisnotonfire** phil shut up you cant even see me  
3 Nov 2009, 17:26

 **danisnotonfire** and dont you FUCKING DARE say something cheesy like im ~always beautiful~ :P  
3 Nov 2009, 17:26

 **AmazingPhil** but u are o_o  
3 Nov 2009, 17:27

 **danisnotonfire** lmfao. not when ive been crying for an hour straight.  
3 Nov 2009, 17:27

 **danisnotonfire** sorry i didnt mean for that to sound so emo  
3 Nov 2009, 17:27

 **AmazingPhil** aw dan i rly wish i could hug you rn :(  
3 Nov 2009, 17:27

 **AmazingPhil** but since i cant hug u i wish i could see your face <3 i miss it very much :'( it is such a nice face. even if u are crying <33  
3 Nov 2009, 17:28

 **danisnotonfire** dont guilt trip me  
3 Nov 2009, 17:30

 **AmazingPhil** hahaa *guilt trips* *bribes with cakes* *begs* *guilt trips more*  
3 Nov 2009, 17:30

 **danisnotonfire** you are the worst person in the world omg  
3 Nov 2009, 17:31

 **AmazingPhil** so i win? youll come on skype? :D  
3 Nov 2009, 17:31

 **danisnotonfire** lol yes fine you win. jfc  
3 Nov 2009, 17:31

 **AmazingPhil** yaaaay  
3 Nov 2009, 17:31

 **danisnotonfire** just give me a minuite to make myself not resemble literal death lmao  
3 Nov 2009, 17:32

 **AmazingPhil** okie ^-^  
3 Nov 2009, 17:32

 **danisnotonfire** alright shall i call u?  
3 Nov 2009, 17:36

 **AmazingPhil** ur ready?  
3 Nov 2009, 17:36

 **danisnotonfire** yes i now look somehwat presentable and worthy of love haha  
3 Nov 2009, 17:36

 **AmazingPhil** nooo dan dont say that. u are always worthy <3  
3 Nov 2009, 17:36

 **AmazingPhil** i love u no matter what <3  
3 Nov 2009, 17:36

 **AmazingPhil** dan?  
3 Nov 2009, 17:38

 **danisnotonfire** fuck u phil u made me start crying again, right after id finally managed to stop -_-  
3 Nov 2009, 17:38

 **danisnotonfire** i need another minuite hold on  
3 Nov 2009, 17:38

 **danisnotonfire** actually fuck it im just gonna call, please just ignore the fact that im currently a sobbing mess lmao  
3 Nov 2009, 17:38

 **danisnotonfire** and we wont talk about my job right? >.< i kinda just dont want to think about it anymore right now  
3 Nov 2009, 17:39

 **danisnotonfire** or my dad  
3 Nov 2009, 17:39

 **AmazingPhil** dont worry we can just talk about happy things like cakes ^-^ and everything we will do together at my house this weekend :D  
3 Nov 2009, 17:39

 **danisnotonfire** ok yay :] im calling now  
3 Nov 2009, 17:39

 **AmazingPhil** ok! WARNING: ive got a butterfly cake held up to the camera so when i answer the call youll be face to face with a glorious cake bum :D  
3 Nov 2009, 17:40

 **danisnotonfire** lmao thanks for warning me xD  
3 Nov 2009, 17:40

 _(And loving me.)_  
_(And listening.)_  
_(And somehow always making everything better.)_

-

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/oqua12) and [Tumblr](http://oqua12.tumblr.com/post/152923457869/a-one-line-dm) :)
> 
> P.S. [This](http://www.manusmenu.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/2-Butterfly-Cupcakes-3-1-of-1.jpg) is what butterfly cakes look like (and [here](http://66.media.tumblr.com/d11c34aefac87ebf3c19ab6fe016d355/tumblr_ogcp3nXIQp1v688udo1_1280.jpg) is Phil showing one made by Mrs. Lester haha).
> 
> P.P.S. In case you were curious, Dan managed to keep his job that week — on Thursday he tweeted "HAHA I DIDNT GET FIRED. wow, I really know how to sound stupid and innocent when I need to." He did finally get fired two weeks later though, after not turning up to his contracted hours "for the third week in a row." lol, oh dan.


End file.
